Lanay Neff always loved children; but she wasn’t sure she wanted kids of her own.

However, when she learned her sister had a newborn and that child was in the system, she knew she had to act. Lanay, adopted by her cousin when she was four, understands the importance of kinship care from a personal standpoint – and it’s also her career at Spaulding for Children, where she works as a kinship navigator.

“I help families get the help and support they need,” she said.

So, when she stepped up to take in her now-son, Lanay had an idea of what it entailed.

“I brought him home when he was only three weeks old,” she said. “I didn’t have a village. I didn’t have other children. I wasn’t prepared at all. But we figured it out.”

Lanay said her sister didn’t often visit and she missed court dates. When she was asked to adopt, Lanay said yes. The adoption was finalized last November, and her son will be 2 in January.

She hopes her sister will be part of her son’s life one day and Lanay said she’s working with  her son’s other half-siblings to maintain family ties as well. They are older, however, and she said it will take time.

“I’m trying to maintain the bonds,” she said. “I’m still learning.”

In her work with Spaulding, Lanay works as a kinship navigator, which means she helps families find resources they need when they take in relatives. Clothes, therapy, housing and more are needed – and Lanay helps make it happen.

She said adopting her son has given her even more appreciation for her work – and her experience as a kinship adoptee has also informed her role.

“I’ve gone through it,” she said. “I get it.”

Lanay adopted her son through the state and said the support she received was outstanding – and helped her transition from a single woman to a single mom.

“We are doing the best we can,” she said of her son. “It’s a beautiful thing. A lot of these kids don’t ask to be here. They deserve a family. I grew up this way, and I always wanted to adopt. I wanted to give back.

“It’s a blessing. If you are considering it, go for it.”

Her son is so smart and thriving, Lanay said. Being a mom has changed her 100%. When he gets older, Lanay said she will share his story with her son, as her adoptive parents shared her story with her.

She also had contact with her biological mom, until she passed – and she valued that bond.

“My adoptive parents did a great job,” she said. “I’m at a happy place now. I remember when he first called me mommy. I cried.

“I can’t believe I have him. I just stare at him at night.”